Love Sunshine

Don't ban patio heaters, ban the lousy summers that compel us to need them

As if it wasn't bad enough that they hoard all the sunshine, other nations of the EU now want to remove our lifeline to the lifestyle they take for granted. A call to ban patio heaters outside pubs in Europe: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7219565.stm

Yes, they are the mark of our shame, branding us as a nation denied its right to a proper summer. Yes, we'd like to relegate them to the museum, and proudly instal where they once stood, the brazen barbecue that betokens successful outside living. But until we have the kind of summers those other nations who are plotting this ban luxuriate in (and even complain of), then we must cling to these ignoble crutches like drowning men to the wreckage. Let those same sun-rich plutocrats spend a summer attempting to enjoy their cafe society without these solar safety nets, and see if they are still so keen to ban them.

Last 'summer', I spotted an heroic sight outside a London pub. The parasols were being used as umbrellas, the patio heaters were on full blast, and a plucky crowd sat through the deluge determined to enjoy their drink outside. And this was before the smoking ban. These are our rights. And we will fight to the death to defend them...